I’m a White Crayola Racist - A1
Verse 1
Yeah, oh oh yeah
I stood up in a support group,
Said, “Folks, I’ve got to come clean.”
The room got awfully disturbingly quiet,
Like they’d never heard such a thing.
I said, “No need to panic,
This ain’t what you think.
I’m only prejudiced against
One little elitist waxy stick.”
Pre-Chorus
I loved that Brick Red,
Black framed every line.
Burnt Sienna stole my little heart,
Yellow made the sunshine.
Blue the oceans and sky hues
But there was one
I couldn’t stand…
The Whitey
Chorus
Yeah, I’m a White Crayola racist,
Since the age of six
That Smooth White never showed up,
Just disappeared in the fold.
On white paper it was invisible,
On colors it fell flat.
It hogged the space another crayon
I would’’ve gladly used abused
So yeah, I’m a White Crayola racist…
And I’m trying to heal from that.
Verse 2
Open up a kid’s old crayon box,
Go ahead take a look.
Every color’s worn to nub nothing,
Except that spotless little rook.
Factory point still standing,
Its pencil neck never even scarred.
That White was drawing unemployment
In the coloring school yard.
Pre-Chorus
Black gave shadows,
Brick Red gave brick.
Forest Green made mighty trees—
White just called in sick.
Chorus
I’m a White Crayola racist,
Confessing every crime.
I discriminated daily,
One coloring page at a time.
I never hated the Browns or the Blacks,
Or the Reds along the way.
I only had a lifelong feud
With that ghostly stick of clay.
Bridge
Then Crayola shrunk some boxes,
Left White sitting on the shelf.
I thought, “Well, look who’s getting canceled…
How’s that feel yourself?”
Maybe every lonely crayon
Needs a second chance somehow…
Though I’m still not feeling it
That white just ain’t right.
Final Chorus
I’m a White Crayola racist,
But here’s the twist you see.
The joke was never people
The joke was always me.
’Cause sometimes all our childhood grudges
Sound ridiculous out loud.
Turns out I spent thirty years
Arguing with a floating cloud.
So here’s to Brick Red,
Black, and Blue,
Every shade beneath the rainbow of hues
And if Smooth White finally gets picked…
It’ll probably be
To draw the snow…
And then it’s done.
Outro
One last question before I go…
Do you know what product
Whitey’s fear the most?
White-Out.