Knife Goodbyes - A1

[This song is about ending a friendship when the relationship has become so emotionally exhausting and complicated that the speaker no longer trusts themselves to say goodbye without it being a crucifying goodbye.]

Verse 1

The blood in my veins is starting to blue
I’m becoming cold, numb, lifeless
This friendship is hollowing out my care
Is our end threatening me with a dare?

Is this a seasonal relationship?
Here today, gone tomorrow
A here-today, gone-tomorrow kind of thing
A dead pulse ready for the grave

I’ve spent too many long sleepless nights
Thinking about
How our simple
Became complicated

My brain has lost all oxygen over this
I’m at tilt
A salvation’s end
A goodbye’s grave

Pre-Chorus

I’m in the cemetery of the dead
Looking for a plot
I just want to ghost out
Must I R.I.P. goodbye with words?

Chorus

I don’t want to goodbye you
With a dagger made of words
But my bandwidth for kind conversation
Has tapped out, has tapped out

I don’t want to gut you
I don’t want to bleed you dry
But every truth I have left
Has a knife’s edge when it comes out

Maybe a ghost goodbye
Is better than a knife goodbye
Maybe silence hurts less
Than the truth I have inside

Verse 2

I’m in a death-bed spiral
I still care, but all I have left
Is a truth that sears
What a warped conundrum

Smoke clouds are telling me nothing
So light the fire, let it roll
Let the past brew its history
Let it bury what we know

I’m ready to snitch this bitch
Welcome to the shit show
Clock… click… boom…

But I don’t want the final word
To be the word that scars you

Pre-Chorus

I’m in the cemetery of the dead
Standing over our plot
I could carve out every reason
But maybe I should just stop

Chorus

I don’t want to goodbye you
With a dagger made of words
But my bandwidth for kind conversation
Has tapped out, has tapped out

I don’t want to gut you
I don’t want to bleed you dry
But every truth I have left
Has a knife’s edge when it comes out

Maybe a ghost goodbye
Is better than a knife goodbye
Maybe silence hurts less
Than the truth I have inside

Bridge – building

Is my silence kinder
Than my heart carving honesty?

Must I be silent
To be mean nice?

Do I share my truth
And carve endless nights of pain?

Do I tell you why
And watch another argument begin?

Or do I disappear
Before my words weaponize?

Breakdown

We don’t work.

That’s the truth.

I’d like not to knife you a goodbye.

I’d like a kind goodbye.

But all I’ve got
Are axe words that grind.

Chalkboard nail-grind over.

No more complications.
No more filling up
With more pain-in-the-ass gas.

Home sweet home.

Final Chorus

I don’t want to goodbye you
With a dagger made of words
I don’t want our last memory
To be everything that hurt

So maybe I’ll ghost out
Maybe I’ll leave it undefined
Because sometimes the kindest goodbye
Is the one you never weaponize

I don’t want a knife goodbye
I don’t want a bloody end
I just want to close the door
And stop reopening it again

Outro

Let a new sunrise rise
With you in the rearview window
Of my past.

Day one
Of my goodbye.

Day one.

Happiness

Peace.